With the ups and downs of life (not to mention the holidays!) come lots of emotions. One of them can be times of sadness which is perfectly normal, but when does sadness fall into depression?
To begin, what is depression and how do you know if you have it? It is hard to say since it affects everyone differently. There are some basic similarities though. It can come on subtly or with an overwhelming trauma. It can even come on with a memory.
Since depression can come on slow, it can go by hidden to the one experiencing it. Due to the fact it is a slow evolution, some people may notice even though you may not. It is like a child who appears to be growing rapidly. Relatives who have not seen the child notice the growth immediately while the parents don’t see it as clearly. Because you see your depression everyday, it may be hard to believe you have it.
It can start with some anxiety, fear, hurt, or sadness and then move to seasons of sadness or “blue” feelings. Then it often gradually becomes real depression and can develop into severe major depression. Before you know it you’re not sleeping well, your eating habits are changing, you feel numb, you are gaining or losing weight, you are having trouble concentrating, you are avoiding certain people or events, and beginning to isolate yourself.
Things that you used to do at one time are no longer enjoyable. Easy jobs are avoided and simple things like opening the mail, answering phone calls or daily chores become monumental.
You may wonder if you are just sad or truly experiencing depression. Depression can be different for everyone but there are some similarities. 1. You are consistently sad, irritable and angry. 2. You can not laugh or have fun. Life seems dull and boring. 3. You feel like you don’t fit in and have nothing to offer. 4. You lose sleep or sleep all day. 5. You hurt and feel achy for no reason. 6. You cry a lot. 7. Your weight fluctuates one way or another. 8. Focusing on tasks is hard if not impossible. 9. You are hopeless and see no way out. 10. You want to escape. If you are thinking of hurting yourself or others or want to escape there are some things you can do to help yourself heal. If the thoughts are constant, you need to get help from someone as soon as possible. It may seem impossible, but fight those feelings of defeat and find a pastor or counselor who help people all the time in this capacity. They are trained to know what to say and will keep your conversations in the strictest confidentiality. Their professional opinion will help tremendously.
Talking to someone about your feelings of depression always helps. Talking to a counselor or a pastor can be the best step you can take to start feeling good again. Although it may seem like it is hopeless, it is not.
Start a journal. This is free and it has proven to be a great success. If you write your thought without holding anything back, you will be able to relieve a lot of those thoughts that seem to trap you. If you are afraid someone will read the journal, keep it in a safe place or throw away the writing after it is written. It is still beneficial to get your thoughts out on paper. What a lot of people who have experienced signs of depression say that it helped them see how their thoughts were and helped get them back on track. It helped them also love themselves again for who they were.
One way to help write down your thoughts is by writing down only one issue and then break the issue down into 4 parts.
To start, for example, describe the problem. I am angry with my husband because he is late for dinner.
Second, write about your thoughts of what happened. For example, “if he loved me he would not have been late.”
Third, write down things you are actually feeling. Your emotions of hurt, sadness, fear of abandonment, guilty, etc. Or write a sentence like, “I am angry because he acts like he doesn’t care about me as much as his career.”
Fourth, try to describe what action you are taking given the situation, your thoughts, and your emotions. For example, are you escaping, isolating, raging, throwing things, feeling sorry for yourself, blaming others for your misery, mad at someone or God, running away, avoiding the conflict, etc.? If you will write all this down, you will be amazed with how much insight and honesty you will be aware of.
Those that chose the path to end their lives yet failed were sharing how they became hopeful only after their thoughts were shared and they grew to understand the depression. They realized their feelings were temporary and easier to deal with.
You have heard that time heals, but time only heals if you are healing. If you are not healing, time just petrifies and hardens hearts and makes us self-defensive and over protective. Take a step and begin healing today and get ready for a happier and healthier life!
PS. If your depression has gotten to the point where you are having thoughts of ending your life, please call 911 and get some help immediately. Or call a counselor, who will know how to help.
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